I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
