morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
