How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
