A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
