This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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