Already got asked if we're dating
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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