Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The air was thick with penises
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
