Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
