quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
