whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
