It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
