did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
