Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
