There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
