Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
