This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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