So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
