this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize