he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
