There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
