the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My dick has a subreddit
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
