sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
