i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i out mim tonsoeep
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
