apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
