My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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