and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
