That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
