return my video game
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
