Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
