I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had to cum in my sink.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
