I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize