Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
