You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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