Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
