Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
