I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize