fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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