if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
