What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
