His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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