Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cockslap morals
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
