we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
