i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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