butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
