Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
false alarm, still single
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize