I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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