I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
