so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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