so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
