You're my little dorito
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize