I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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