I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
