Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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