when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
