I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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