My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
